Staying Motivated

The easiest way to fail to achieve your goals is through lost motivation.  A busy schedule, fires that need to be put out (more pressing needs) or just having a bad day or week can disrupt your progress toward any goal.  When you reach the point where you feel the need to “refuel”, one good way may be to relax and watch a good movie.  But don’t just watch the latest version of “Jackass” (I’d rather have my fingernails pulled out - wait, probably a poor reference here!), turn to a list of great movies that’ll also leave you ready to attack your world again.  Here’s a short list of my favorites:

The Pursuit of Happyness, Will Smith, based on a true story

Rudy, Sean Astin, based on a true story

Invincible, Mark Wahlberg, based on a true story

Invictus, Matt Damon, based on a true story

The Blind Side, Sandra Bullock, based on a true story

The Power of One, Morgan Freeman, based on a true story

Running the Sahara, Documentary

Remember the Titans, Denzel Washington, based on a true story

Glory Road, Josh Lucas, based on a true story

Radio, Cuba Gooding, Jr., based on a true story  (see a trend here?!)

In all of them, it comes down to the second rule of SmartGeorge: Life ain’t easy!  (First rule of SmartGeorge: Life ain’t fair)  All of these movies show that reaching your goals only comes from hard work and persistence, and they’ll give you some of yours back.  

What are some of your favorite inspirational movies?  Let me know!

Dan Scheerer, SmartGeorge

dscheerer@smartgeorge.com

Sidelines No More

“It’s easy to be brave from a safe distance.” -Aesop’s Fables

I guess I’ve been brave all my life!  Among many things, I’ve watched the Boston Marathon from a “safe distance” many times.  This year I was at the start in Hopkinton and watched as thousands of runners packed the queue and filed by anxiously awaiting their turn.  In truth, I’ve never been waiting for my turn.  Though I’ve always considered myself an athlete, (that is to say, I enjoy athletic pursuits) if it isn’t chasing a ball, I generally have no interest.  Such is the case with running - no interest whatsoever.

But I do have interest in being fit and so have dabbled in some biking over the past years as a way to get some independent exercise (no partner needed as in tennis, soccer, etc.)  But biking is challenged by weather here in the northeast in winter months, so I have made a decision - get off the sideline and jump into the fray - I’m going to try my hand at running.  

Pathetic at the start, really.  I nearly killed myself to go 1.6 miles.  Lasted slightly more than 15 minutes.  Done.  That was several weeks ago and now with nearly a dozen runs under my belt I’m making painful but steady progress.  Last night I ran farther than I ever have - four miles.  Well, after about 3.2 I walked about 50 yards, but then finished strong.  Next time I’ll eliminate the walk.  

I don’t know where this is going for me.  I have no designs on a marathon, but I feel good despite the sore legs and creaky knees.  I have signed up for a 5K (my first ever!) and now actually expect to finish.  I’ll no longer be on the sidelines, and it feels good.

Dan Scheerer, SmartGeorge

Her Glass is Full

It was really a “Wow” moment for me.  I often talk about trying to view the world through the “glass half full” lens.  My daughter took it another step, as she always does, and I want to live in her world.

Yesterday was a cloudy, misty, rainy kind of day.  Everything wet.  I was sitting on the damp steps of our terrace contemplating what kinds of things I would do on a nice day, but left with what I could do, given the weather.  It wasn’t really raining, just sort of spitting enough to dampen many outdoor activities.  Meanwhile, my daughter was walking up from her swing set where she had spent several minutes climbing and playing, as is her “job”.  When she got up to me, she simply said, with a big smile, with all enthusiasm and sincerity, “Daddy, isn’t it a beautiful day?”  All I could do was smile, agree, and giver her a big hug.  I thought, “who else could look at the day like that?”  But she was right.  It was a beautiful day.  She was happy, I was happy, and despite all my worries of the moment (I can’t mow the lawn, no tennis today, my lawn’s red thread problem was getting worse with the rain, etc.), we were together and enjoying our time.  It WAS a beautiful day.  That memory will come in handy very often as I endeavor to look at life more like my six year old.  There is no “half” about her glass.

Dan Scheerer 

SmartGeorge

An Expert's World

You’ve just been informed you’re being sued.  The transmission blows in your car.  You have mind-numbing pain in a tooth.  You’ve just been told you have a rare form of cancer.  Your child is suffering from autism.  

These are circumstances, of varying degrees of seriousness, which we all hope to avoid.  None are fun and a couple are downright scary.  But when these things occur (and they do to hundreds, perhaps thousands of people every day), who do people call?  Experts.  They want to find the person with the highest qualifications to help deal with the challenging circumstance in which they find themselves.  Most often people are more than willing to bare the higher cost of that expert care.  Think about it.  Much of our world is intricate and complicated and most of us have neither the knowledge or skills to deal with the challenges ourselves.  But we want the BEST results.  

So who do we call?  Oh, we have choices.  Lots of choices.  How many mechanics are out there?  How many dentists?  Doctors?  Do we turn to the internet for the answer, or the yellow pages?  DEFINITELY not the latter!  Typically we look to friends who we think will know who the “best” is, or we ask experts who should already know who the “best” is and where to find them.  We all tend to trust a reference because that person referring us already has some knowledge or, more importantly, the experience to know.  Because experience matters.  I guarantee that when you are told you have cancer, you won’t be looking for just anyone recently out of medical school.  You will look for someone with many years of expertise in your particular kind of cancer.

But this is an extreme example.  Every day we need help from others and we always hope we are getting a qualified expert, whether it is to repair the dishwasher or treat your sick dog.  And generally speaking, those with greater knowledge and skill charge higher fees, get more referrals and have more successful outcomes.  Where would you like to be on that scale?

The strange thing is, EVERYONE is an expert in something.  If nothing else, at least in themselves.  Nobody is more expert in you, than you.  But what you become expert in depends very much on what you spend your time doing.  An expert mechanic doesn’t get to be so from spending his days in front of the TV.  If he did, he’d be an “expert” in TV programming, not repairing cars or dishwashers.  (and last I checked, there’s not much call for experts in TV watching!)  Over the course of your life, you WILL become expert in something, maybe even several things, but you can CHOOSE in what area(s) you’ll become expert.  Choose something productive and rewarding.  Find something you enjoy doing that means something.  Become an expert by doing it a lot.  The more other people value your knowledge and skill, the better you will be compensated.  Do it better than ANYONE else, and you will be VERY well compensated.  Just remember, experts become so only through hard work, perseverance and incremental improvement over time, but they all started where you are today.

In what will you become expert?

Dan Scheerer, SmartGeorge

Living Life's Priorities (from The Octopus Solution)

Sometimes I come across pieces that just need to be forwarded.  The following piece was in an email blog from The Octopus Solution, so the best way to forward it out to SmartGeorge was to copy it into my blog.  It’s a quick read with a great message.  It seems to me I’ve heard it before, but I was glad to find it in print (the formatting did some funny things, but it’s mostly clear):

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee!

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.' The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things: your family, your children, your health and your favorite passions, and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life; if you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.' The coffee just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee!

Dan Scheerer

SmartGeorge

Learn to Communicate!

More than almost anything else, communication can set you apart from your peers.  Your communication skills will either help you get that job, or into that school or training program, or it will keep you in line with everyone else continuing to look.  If you REALLY want to excel beyond your peers, take communication seriously.  Listen CAREFULLY to your friends: how frequently, within ONE sentence, do you hear “like..., ummm..., ya know...” etc?  The power of speech - oratory, is not appreciated by most, but the people who understand it’s power, and ACT to learn and develop the skill go farther.  It’s everyday habit.  It isn’t a switch you can turn on and off.  Make it who you are.

Let me be practical here.  To be hired for a supervisory role, a management role, a leadership role, you must be able to communicate directly and concisely.  Listen to those in charge at your school or other organizations where you are involved.  How do they speak?  How do they write?  If they communicate well, it is because they took it seriously and learned.  They studied.  They practiced. They implemented.  If they SOUND educated, it is because they ARE educated, at least about communicating.  In fact, you can hide lots of faults if you communicate well!  

How can you improve your spoken and written communication skills?  Make it a goal!  Go to your english teacher for extra help.  Find a tutoring program.  Read books, both educational in nature on communication, as well as everything else.  Pay attention to how good writers form their sentences.  Pay attention to their grammar, their vocabulary.  Learn to expand yours!  But most of all, PRACTICE! When you write anything, go back over it and re-read it.  Does it say what you intended?  Will it make the reader want to read it, and more?  Did you take any lazy shortcuts?  Could you use fewer words to get the idea across? 

Today, everyone writes in their own personal “shorthand”.  Email use (and texting, instant messaging, etc.) is destroying language skills because it is (wrongly) assumed that one doesn’t need to meet basic standards when writing email messages.  Make yourself stand out!  Use proper english when writing emails.  Use punctuation, vocabulary, and grammar that your english teacher would approve of, or perhaps even respect!  Don’t be lazy - make the extra effort and it will become a habit that will serve you the rest of your life.  Maybe it will even help you get that next job up the ladder!

Dan Scheerer

SmartGeorge

Positive Programming

Hundreds of channels over days, weeks and months means hundreds of thousands of hours of programming on television a year.  the great majority of it is a complete waste of time.  Yes, there is some good entertainment as well as some great education, but finding shows with a Purpose is a challenge, to say the least.  But I have to admit, I have begun watching a new show that I find interesting AND educational at the same time, and it is very SmartGeorge!  SmartGeorge is all about preparing now for life’s future challenges and this show provides a glimpse into what it means to be an employee, a boss, and a family member.  It shows what traits employers look for in employees and what they are willing to do for those with positive attitudes.  It shows the power individuals have to control their lives and careers, and it shows, at a basic level, the types of jobs required to make different types of companies run.

Last night my wife and I watched “Undercover Boss” on CBS with our boys and they enjoyed the show and began to understand WHY hard work and a good attitude gives an advantage in life.  (This particular episode involved the company, GSI Commerce) I think we got them hooked and we plan to make it a regular Sunday night ritual as long as the show is running.  It gives us, as parents, an opportunity to talk about why they are going to school, how they will later be applying what they learn, and what they can do to advance themselves faster on their school and career paths as they grow older.  Have a look, see if you agree, and make “Undercover Boss” a part of your family dialog.  We can all learn from their lessons.  You can find it on cbs.com and hulu.com.

Dan Scheerer

SmartGeorge

Professionalism and Discipline: Thoughts by Atul Gawande

From “The Checklist Manifesto - How to Get Things Right”, 2009, by Atul Gawande (medical doctor, author):

“All learned occupations have a definition of professionalism, a code of conduct.  It is where they spell out their ideals and duties.  The codes are sometimes stated, sometimes just understood.  But they all have at least three common elements.”

“First is an expectation of selflessness: that we who accept responsibility for others- whether we are doctors, lawyers, teachers, public authorities, soldiers, or pilots- will place the needs and concerns of those who depend on us above our own.  Second is an expectation of skill: that we will aim for excellence in our knowledge and expertise.  Third is an expectation of trustworthiness: that we will be responsible in our personal behavior toward our charges.”

“Aviators, however, add a forth expectation, discipline: discipline in following prudent procedure and in functioning with others...”

“Discipline is hard- harder than trustworthiness and skill and perhaps even selflessness.  We are by nature flawed and inconstant creatures.  We can’t even keep from snacking between meals.  We are not built for discipline.  We are built for novelty and excitement, not for careful attention to detail.  Discipline is something we have to work at.”

Here, here.

Dan Scheerer, SmartGeorge

Credit and Life

The mission (lower case) of SmartGeorge is to help kids see the correlation between money and life.  A clear example of that truth struck our dinner table last night.  I picked Trust as a discussion point with my boys (15 & 12) as we were wrapping up our meal:  “Tell me about trust”, I said.  Sheepishly they began to define it as they perceive it.  I followed with a stream of questions to help guide their thoughts:

“What does it mean to trust someone?” they talked about me, and parents in general.

“Is trust important?”

“How does being trusted help you?”

“How does someone lose your trust?”

“Can they gain it back?”  “How?”

“Do you have an example of someone you don’t trust?”  “Why not?”

“How does being trusted serve you?”

“Do you think there are people who might not trust you?”  “How can you fix that?”

“How long does it take to repair trust?” (followed by defining the difference between a sincere and insincere apology)

“How do you insure that people trust you over the long term?”

I don’t recall the exact order of these questions and the flow of the conversation, but over the course of about twenty minutes or more, they talked about their teachers, their friends, and yes, even their dogs. (trusting them not to bite - good point!)  By the time we were exhausting the topic (and probably their tolerance level to put up with dad’s fathering) they had stretched their minds and added some perspective on the subject of trust.  Hopefully, they will consider it more often in their daily lives as they interact with their peers, teachers, younger schoolmates, and siblings.  We’ll revisit the topic regularly to be certain.

But that’s not the end of it.  As it goes in life, so it goes in business.  The same rules apply.  We seek the same comfort in our business world as we do at home.  Can we trust our partners?  Our teammates?  Our vendors?  Our lenders?  Do they trust us?  Have we earned THEIR trust?  At SmartGeorge, we usually start with the financial lesson and then move into it’s application in life.  But I reversed it on my boys here.  This topic of Trust moves naturally into the financial term, Credit.  Credit is really about whether banks and other lenders trust you to pay your debts properly and on time.  If you fail to do so, you lose their trust and must pay a penalty, as in life.  Financial institutions make your failures public, as people do in life.  You can earn their trust back, but it takes action and time, as in life.  An apology isn’t enough (sincere or not), its about long term behavior and forming good habits.  With money, it can be measured through your credit score.  It’s not so easy in life, but just as important.  

Hmm.  As my favorite minister likes to say, “That’ll preach!”

Dan Scheerer, SmartGeorge

It Must Be Earned

My twelve year old son has been dying to snowboard.  We’re not big skiers - we head north usually only on a couple of occasions over the course of a winter.  We get perhaps four or six days in a season, not really enough to get particularly good, unfortunately.  But our kids love it and they show sufficient skill to ski most of any mountain.  It has always been about skiing however, not snowboarding.  Our feeling as parents has been that we want our kids to know how to ski first, mastering the greater challenge in case there is ever the “need” to return to that skill.  Snowboarding would have to wait until they each turned thirteen.

When the time came, our oldest daughter didn’t show much interest.  She waited and let her younger brother take to the board first (which he did on a week long ski trip with his camp) before she gave it a try.  After one day, she decided it wasn’t for her - too much pain and frustration when she loved skiing.  So my second son has been waiting for about six eager years for his turn to enter the world of the snowboard.  (Yes, mounting pressure caused us to bend to his will at twelve!)

Andy is a “sport”.  He loves lacrosse, soccer, and yes, skateboarding, so snowboarding is a natural instinct for him, particularly given the effect of exposure to so many snowboarders on the mountains these days, and all the cool “tricks” they can do on the slopes and in the terrain parks (half-pipes, jumps and rails).  We figured we’d rather have him in that world as an active participant, instead of trying to experience it vicariously through video games.  In any case, this was the first of my kids that I would be actively trying to help learn, and what an experience it was!

As a surfing old-timer, I learned how to snowboard a number of years ago in preparation for the coming wave. (I’ve since gone back to skiing as my personal preference)  So I knew a thing or two about what it would take.  There are several body parts that suffer in the early days of learning, but we had him wear wrist guards to protect against the most common and severe injury.  The rest he would have to suffer through.  And suffer he did.  I’m not sure what was really going on in his mind, but I think that, because he skateboards, he thought he’d just take a few minutes or so and be flying down the mountain, doing all the tricks he’d been dreaming about.  When you’re battling a holiday weekend crowd, less than ideal conditions, and a slightly misguided twelve-year-old idea of reality, things can get pretty dicey.  First we covered the basics on the bunny slope to make sure he could manage getting around on the flats and exiting the chair lifts.  then we moved up on the hill so he could learn to use an edge to slip-slide down the hill.  Once he conquered control of one edge (heel first), he’d work on the other.  He did remarkably well on that first edge.  After the first day, he was cruising down the mountain with a fair amount of control, proud of his accomplishment, excited to learn the toe edge the next day, and sensing he’d be a full-blown snowboarder attacking the turns in a few more hours.

Not to be.  Day two was a long, frustrating, exhausting day.  The conditions had further deteriorated, but the crowds had not.  Whatever came to him easily on the first day, was not present on day two.  What he expected to happen didn’t.  While he maintained his skill on the heel edge, he just couldn’t master making the transition to the other edge.  Each time he tried, he hit the icy cover hard.  Over and over.  He’d wrestle himself up, go for a few seconds, and hit the ground again. Up and down, again and again.  Every once in a while he’d begin to make the transition, but it was usually short lived and he would try to rush back to his comfort zone on the heel edge, but rushing usually isn’t a good idea on a snowboard.  Down he’d go.  By afternoon, despite our cheers of really remarkable success, he was getting to the end of his tolerance, and one particular fall caused tears to begin to flow.  But with his father and sister standing over him, his character showed.  With his goal of learning obviously clear in his mind, he picked himself back up, and shoved off down the mountain.

that was the turning point.  He realized it wouldn’t be as easy as he expected.  It would be a painful learning process.  He knew he was close and had made amazing progress since the day before on the bunny hill.  He continued to rise and fall, suffered additional bruising that would make the bus ride to school painful in a couple of days, but showed no more tears.  He just decided to deal with it.  And it was beginning to bear fruit.  By the end of an exhausting day, he had on several occasions successfully made the transitional turns and was beginning to “get it”.  It gave him hope for the last day to learn the rest.

Day three was a miracle.  Five inches of fresh powder had fallen and the crowds had completely evaporated.  The mountain was all ours and Andy was ready to go again.  He continued to push his comfort zone and deal with the consequences.  By the end of the day, he was turning equally on both sides and the grin on his face told the tale of accomplishment.  When none of us could muster the strength for more near the end of the day, we finally called it quits.  I could see that in a relatively short period of time, Andy had experienced excitement, despair and pride.  That holiday weekend was a microcosm of life, and I made sure Andy understood that.  We talked about what he went through; the highs and the lows, and the fact that all things worthwhile are worth fighting for.  That discomfort and hard work usually (but don’t always!) pay off.  That nobody could have given him the ability to snowboard.  If he wants something, he’ll have to EARN it.  And he did.  He displayed a level of GRIT (see my previous post on Grit, Dec. 29th) that was admirable.  He now knows that he’ll have future challenges that may take him years to overcome, but even greater results will be possible if he can display that same grit over greatly extended periods of time.  I’m confident he’ll be prepared, all because of a nice weekend ski trip.

Do you have an example of Grit in your life?

Dan Scheerer, SmartGeorge

They ALMOST got me! (EJ Kritz)

A couple nights ago I got an interesting phone call from Capital One, a provider for one of my credit cards.  I’ve had this card for over 10 years and this was one of the first times I’ve ever gotten a call from them so right away I figured somebody must have stolen my credit card number and was using it.  Amazingly, I was greeted on the other end of the phone by a very nice well-spoken woman who immediately asked how I was.  She explained that the purpose of the call was to educate me on some changes that will go into effect soon as part of the new credit card legislation.

The kind woman explained that under the new law, should I try to make a purchase that would put me over my credit limit (something I’d never do anyway) my card would be declined.  Today should I make the same purchase, the charges would actually be accepted allowing Capital One to charge me a $39 over-the-limit fee.  The customer service employee explained that Capital One would like to “help” me keep this “feature” as part of my account and in the future would only charge me a $29 fee should I go over my credit limit.

My suspicion caught wind of her little scheme.  Never has a credit card company been so generous as to simply reduce a fee they might be able to collect.  Clearly, this credit card company is trying desperately to allow their customers to act carelessly with their credit by allowing them to go over their limit.  Without the new legislation, which takes effect in February, credit card companies could continue to collect large fees from their customers without teaching them the valuable lesson of responsible use of credit.  It is apparent that a $39 or even $29 fee is not a deterrent!  Despite my protests and my pointing out that Capital One was simply trying to maintain a revenue stream, the relentless representative began to give specific examples including an emergency auto or home repair, as reasons why I might want to go over my limit.  Under the new legislation, over-the-limit fees are basically to be eliminated and yet this company, preying on the weak and uninformed, are trying to continue collecting.  Don’t be fooled and think Smart!

EJ Kritz, SmartGeorge

Turning 18

Haiti just lost 100,000 people to a catastrophic earthquake.  Stunning news, and so terrible, particularly given the challenges they face helping themselves.  They can’t recover without tremendous international financial and logistical support. Haiti is already one of the poorest nations of the western hemisphere and has suffered political strife and natural disasters we Americans can hardly fathom.  It serves as yet another example of how fortunate we are, as individuals, to be living in the US.

Haiti is not unusual around the world.  Millions live on island nations that suffer similar calamities.  Then there are all those who suffer poverty and war in African nations, as well as those unfortunate to live under communist regimes and dictators, and not to mention the challenges of living in the desert regions of the Middle East under religious madmen and factional governments!  Add it all up and we would appear to be greatly outnumbered!  Though perhaps not technically true, the odds of being born to the US and the “western” world seem slight.  Disasters like Haiti just suffered bring that to light for me.  I appreciate every day the blessings we have.  Yes, certainly we have problems.  Poverty, drug abuse, remaining  racism (though generally greatly reduced from years ago), weak educational systems where excellence is perhaps most needed, and crime, often so horrible we wonder how humans can devise such heinous acts.  And yet America remains the Land of the Free, a place where millions seek escape from the strife around the world to have a chance to live a meaningful existence, if not just a safe one.

But we (Americans) generally take it for granted.  Somehow we “deserve” it.  Big, flat-panel TVs with rich (some might say wasteful!) programming, Starbucks always within arm’s reach, and a Wal-mart in every community.  Facebook rules the day.  We just presume that’s what life is.  But it's not.  We have the best of the best, and available to just about everyone.  I’m a glass-half-full kind of guy.  Yes, it would be ideal if everyone had EQUAL access to the fruits of our society, but at least here, everyone has OPPORTUNITY to access the fruits generated by a great nation.  When our kids are surrounded by this stuff every day, and are bombarded with marketing messages by the thousands, its hard for them to put our state of riches in perspective.  Most don’t realize what a gift we have been given by our forefathers, maintained by our heroes of today, who have literally given their lives, limbs and blood to provide and protect all that we have.

All this is a roundabout way to say that we are LUCKY!  We are the beneficiaries of others’ hard work and sacrifice.  Don’t take our place in the world for granted.  Celebrate our ability to earn, produce, provide, and learn! 

There is a trigger point for our kids to begin that celebration.  It comes on their 18th birthday.  Two major “rights” become available on that day - the right to vote and the ability to open an IRA.  Both are significant in their own way.  I don’t yet know whether my oldest daughter will share my political views, but that’s not important.  I vote in every election I can, local, state and national, because I not only believe that is our duty, but I feel empowered.  I love to celebrate my ability to have a say in what happens in our country, no matter how small a role I play.  I want my daughter (all my kids) to recognize how lucky we ALL are.  We can control our destiny by participating in our political system and by taking the appropriate steps to ensure our financial security.  Both are critical in order to pass our blessings on to our children and grandchildren.

So at the first opportunity, coming up in just a matter of weeks, I will take my daughter to our town hall to register to vote, and to a bank to open an IRA, with the hope that she will understand the good fortune that has been given to her by so many, and the power she has to control her own destiny and positively impact those around her.  God bless America!

The Brighter Side of Jealosy, or, "I can do that!"

Jealousy is a truly ugly trait.  Natural instinct? Perhaps, but it should be controlled at all cost.  It is unattractive and extremely unproductive.  Unless of course you can USE it.  Think about it.  Jealousy basically means you admire something about someone else, but unfortunately the end result is usually a feeling of ill-will toward that person.  But if you can identify jealousy when it creeps in to your brain, try to take a step back and figure out why you’re feeling that way.  Usually we are jealous about successes other people have, or “positive” physical attributes we lack showcased by those people.  When this happens, ask yourself three questions:

1.  Do I really admire that person for that trait?

2.  Would I REALLY like to have that trait?

3.  Is there a way for me to attain that trait?

If the answer to all three is yes, then perhaps you can do something about it.  If it is a particular talent they have, investigate.  Find out how they came to have that talent and determine if you might achieve those results if you made similar efforts.  If you still like the prospects, make it a goal and set up a plan to get yourself there.  This is essentially what “modeling” is.  Ever heard of a role-model?!   It’s a positive thing to find someone who does something well and to try to incorporate their practices in your life.  If you don't want to make that trait yours, fine.  But drop the jealousy - it won't do you any good.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so don’t be jealous - learn and grow.  Perhaps someone will be jealous of you someday! (but I’d advise that not be your goal!)

What will you do?

Don't Make a Resolution, Make a PLAN!

Yup, I’ve been there before in past years.  New Year’s comes, and one of the annual questions is “what is your New Year’s resolution?”  Arghh!  It almost makes me yearn for Y2K again!  Almost.  I understand the sentiment that a new year is about rebirth, a chance to start over, but please - resolutions!?  If we were smart, resolutions would be a fad whose time has come and gone.  Why?  Because, generally speaking, they don’t work.  According to one study, only 75% of resolutions are maintained past the first week, and by the time six months pass, only 46% remain in place.  Another study showed that after one year, only 12% of “resolutioners” felt they were still on track.  The three top reasons were found to be procrastination, lack of discipline and no game plan.  Very few people are successful in their resolve to lose weight, exercise more or watch less TV (I speak from experience on at least two of these).  You see, it’s just not that simple.  How many people keep promises to other people, not to mention themselves?  It’s hard!  Sorry, but I love oreo’s, and if they’re in the house, I’m eating them, and no “resolution” is going to stop me.

When it comes to life plans and the pursuit of success, what you really need is a Plan.  The difference is, a resolution is (usually) spontaneous, a plan is birthed.  A resolution is fleeting, a plan is durable.  A resolution is invisible, a plan is concrete.  A resolution is vague, a plan is detailed.  A resolution is cheap, a plan is commitment.  Resolution time comes once a year, a plan can come when you are ready (which is why I'm posting this AFTER New Year's!)  When you really want to accomplish something, with which do you think you’d be better off, a resolution, or a plan?  Proper planning requires serious motivation, forethought, a pencil and paper (at least in the old days) and an organized system to track progress, at least weekly.  Is this more difficult?  Yes.  Is it more effective?  Absolutely, when done with commitment.  I believe lack of self-discipline is the real culprit for lack of follow-through with resolutions, but by turning the resolution into a real plan with detailed steps, a time frame, and accountability, it can become a plan that leads to success.  What is accountability?  Visibility to yourself and others.  Post your plan and tracking system where you will see it throughout the course of your day.  Have someone else on your “team” to track your progress with you, someone you won’t mind pushing you on it.  Make it a public effort by posting your progress on Facebook or Twitter.  When you fail by yourself, you don’t mind as much.  When you fail publicly, it hurts more.  Pride is a strong motivator, and that’s what this is really all about - motivation.  If you aren’t motivated, success is doomed.  A Plan addresses motivation, a resolution dances around it.  Find out what REALLY motivates you, and use it.  Then make a plan.