My twelve year old son has been dying to snowboard. We’re not big skiers - we head north usually only on a couple of occasions over the course of a winter. We get perhaps four or six days in a season, not really enough to get particularly good, unfortunately. But our kids love it and they show sufficient skill to ski most of any mountain. It has always been about skiing however, not snowboarding. Our feeling as parents has been that we want our kids to know how to ski first, mastering the greater challenge in case there is ever the “need” to return to that skill. Snowboarding would have to wait until they each turned thirteen.
When the time came, our oldest daughter didn’t show much interest. She waited and let her younger brother take to the board first (which he did on a week long ski trip with his camp) before she gave it a try. After one day, she decided it wasn’t for her - too much pain and frustration when she loved skiing. So my second son has been waiting for about six eager years for his turn to enter the world of the snowboard. (Yes, mounting pressure caused us to bend to his will at twelve!)
Andy is a “sport”. He loves lacrosse, soccer, and yes, skateboarding, so snowboarding is a natural instinct for him, particularly given the effect of exposure to so many snowboarders on the mountains these days, and all the cool “tricks” they can do on the slopes and in the terrain parks (half-pipes, jumps and rails). We figured we’d rather have him in that world as an active participant, instead of trying to experience it vicariously through video games. In any case, this was the first of my kids that I would be actively trying to help learn, and what an experience it was!
As a surfing old-timer, I learned how to snowboard a number of years ago in preparation for the coming wave. (I’ve since gone back to skiing as my personal preference) So I knew a thing or two about what it would take. There are several body parts that suffer in the early days of learning, but we had him wear wrist guards to protect against the most common and severe injury. The rest he would have to suffer through. And suffer he did. I’m not sure what was really going on in his mind, but I think that, because he skateboards, he thought he’d just take a few minutes or so and be flying down the mountain, doing all the tricks he’d been dreaming about. When you’re battling a holiday weekend crowd, less than ideal conditions, and a slightly misguided twelve-year-old idea of reality, things can get pretty dicey. First we covered the basics on the bunny slope to make sure he could manage getting around on the flats and exiting the chair lifts. then we moved up on the hill so he could learn to use an edge to slip-slide down the hill. Once he conquered control of one edge (heel first), he’d work on the other. He did remarkably well on that first edge. After the first day, he was cruising down the mountain with a fair amount of control, proud of his accomplishment, excited to learn the toe edge the next day, and sensing he’d be a full-blown snowboarder attacking the turns in a few more hours.
Not to be. Day two was a long, frustrating, exhausting day. The conditions had further deteriorated, but the crowds had not. Whatever came to him easily on the first day, was not present on day two. What he expected to happen didn’t. While he maintained his skill on the heel edge, he just couldn’t master making the transition to the other edge. Each time he tried, he hit the icy cover hard. Over and over. He’d wrestle himself up, go for a few seconds, and hit the ground again. Up and down, again and again. Every once in a while he’d begin to make the transition, but it was usually short lived and he would try to rush back to his comfort zone on the heel edge, but rushing usually isn’t a good idea on a snowboard. Down he’d go. By afternoon, despite our cheers of really remarkable success, he was getting to the end of his tolerance, and one particular fall caused tears to begin to flow. But with his father and sister standing over him, his character showed. With his goal of learning obviously clear in his mind, he picked himself back up, and shoved off down the mountain.
that was the turning point. He realized it wouldn’t be as easy as he expected. It would be a painful learning process. He knew he was close and had made amazing progress since the day before on the bunny hill. He continued to rise and fall, suffered additional bruising that would make the bus ride to school painful in a couple of days, but showed no more tears. He just decided to deal with it. And it was beginning to bear fruit. By the end of an exhausting day, he had on several occasions successfully made the transitional turns and was beginning to “get it”. It gave him hope for the last day to learn the rest.
Day three was a miracle. Five inches of fresh powder had fallen and the crowds had completely evaporated. The mountain was all ours and Andy was ready to go again. He continued to push his comfort zone and deal with the consequences. By the end of the day, he was turning equally on both sides and the grin on his face told the tale of accomplishment. When none of us could muster the strength for more near the end of the day, we finally called it quits. I could see that in a relatively short period of time, Andy had experienced excitement, despair and pride. That holiday weekend was a microcosm of life, and I made sure Andy understood that. We talked about what he went through; the highs and the lows, and the fact that all things worthwhile are worth fighting for. That discomfort and hard work usually (but don’t always!) pay off. That nobody could have given him the ability to snowboard. If he wants something, he’ll have to EARN it. And he did. He displayed a level of GRIT (see my previous post on Grit, Dec. 29th) that was admirable. He now knows that he’ll have future challenges that may take him years to overcome, but even greater results will be possible if he can display that same grit over greatly extended periods of time. I’m confident he’ll be prepared, all because of a nice weekend ski trip.
Do you have an example of Grit in your life?
Do you have an example of Grit in your life?
Dan Scheerer, SmartGeorge
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